shoesonwrong

Hah. Yeah. Wait, what?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:16:31 -0500

Hah. Yeah. Wait, what?

No YOU'RE a pop-obsessed teenager.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:04:44 -0500

Lady Gaga is playing Detroit’s Fox Theater on January 12th and 13th.

Zip: One Last Thing

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:40:20 -0500

I was in the touch with the mentoring agency today, just to re-confirm that things are officially off with Zip because I talked to them, they said they would talk to Zip’s mom and then call me to confirm. That was on Monday, and as things stood, I was supposed to pick Zip up tomorrow to go to a movie unless someone told him that I wasn’t coming.

So, I called the agency today, and they apologized for not calling me back sooner, saying they just got in contact with Zip’s mom today and they’d been leaving her twice-daily messages since Monday. When they confronted her about the different living location/Zip’s fraked up schedule, she denied everything. She said I offered to come get Zip out in the ass-end of Detroit and that I wanted to do all-weekend visits even though she has every other weekend off and Zip can’t do anything those days. It sounds like every word that fell out of her face was a fucking outright lie.

The agency didn’t come right out and call her a lying bitch, obviously, but they were like, “Well, despite what Mrs. Zip’s Mom said, we would prefer to re-match you with someone who is more cooperative.”

What sucks is that because Zip’s mom, who should have called the agency (which is open from eight to eight, so she had ample time daily) on Monday didn’t call until today so Zip isn’t going to find out about the cancellation until tonight or possibly tomorrow. I hope his mom bothers to tell him before tomorrow evening, when I just don’t show up.

I think the thing with Zip is finally finished, at least on my end. I’m sad but relieved.

Inviting me over to play video games is a date, right?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:09:00 -0500

aimee-b-loved:

Or is it a warning sign?

He’s going to try to get me naked, isn’t he?

Dammit. Someone throw a football at my face so I have an excuse to not go to prom.

Then again, I do like Donkey Kong Country. Wait, NO. No. Resist, Aimee. Resist.

Funny story only remotely related.

I once dated a whiny loser of a guy who “forgot” his wallet at home on all three dates we went on, unapologetically leaving me to pay for dinner three times in addition to movie tickets twice.* He also whined about his ex-girlfriends all through dinner, and told me that I had crappy taste in movies and restaurants. After the third date date, I went back to his house to drop him off (did I mentioned I drove because his car was always broken?), and he invited me in to play video games. I was there just long enough to see he had Donkey Kong Country I, II, and III for the SNES.

I took them and never looked back.

I’m not proud of it.

I’m a little proud of it.

*I am not saying that the dude should always have to pony up money. But I sure as hell am not going to pay for everything constantly.

I plan on killing zombies this weekend in Left 4 Dead and its sequel. Anyone else want to join?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:59:29 -0500

Because if I play with someone who even remotely knows me, there’s less of a chance you’ll call me a, “Goddamn piece of shit n00b who couldn’t hit an elephant with a handful of rice.” Like a stranger once did, prompting me to cry from shame.

People are mean, y’all.

Even if you aren’t a L4D junkie, feel free to add me. Or leave your gamertag here.

My gamertag is, unsurprisingly, shoesonwrong. You’ve been forewarned about my inability to hit an elephant with a handful of rice while under pressure and strangers are screaming at me.

snorasaurus: For Annie. A sickly elephant, just for me? This...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:27:20 -0500

snorasaurus:

For Annie.

A sickly elephant, just for me?

This has better not be my only Christmas present.

In my defense, the reason I have to say “Did you hear...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:10:59 -0500

In my defense, the reason I have to say “Did you hear that?” Is because if I don’t say it really loud while thumping on him, Ryan will just sleep through it, like some non-thunder-hearing chump.

[jephkelley:paulewogblog:ilovecharts]

We go together like [insert rambling Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference here].

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:07:32 -0500

girlvanized:

Like Xander and Anya when Anya was human again for the first time, not the second time in the last season, and after Xander was no longer freaked out that this ex she-demon was pursuing him but BEFORE they moved in together and she got all naggy and definitely before he stood her up at the altar like a jackass moron jerkface, OMG.

Although, one day, I do hope for a glorious death fighting crazed monks while saving a nerdy whelp and, extensively, the world.

I… I feel like I might be in love with you.

The outside of that can said "Vernors" but the stuff inside was straight up Fizzy Lifting Drink.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:27:44 -0500

Wikipedia informs me that if you are not from the upper-midwest, Vernors may not be widely available in your region. Is that true?

Home — Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros It’s...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 00:27:27 -0500

Home — Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

It’s like if Sufjan Stevens were a dirty hippie. I’m not sure if that’s an endorsement or not.

I follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I never loved one like you
Moats and boats and waterfalls, alleyways and payphone calls
I’ve been everywhere with you

Home, let me come home
Home is whenever I’m with you
Home, yes I am home Home is wherever I’m with you

"Is everything okay? You have the same look the cat gets when he accidentally eats a vegetable."

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:47:32 -0500

“Is everything okay? You have the same look the cat gets when he accidentally eats a vegetable.”

- Ryan

Ryan: Okay, one of us has got to cave and do the dishes. Me: I don’t know about you, but I am...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:23:20 -0500

Ryan: Okay, one of us has got to cave and do the dishes.

Me: I don’t know about you, but I am just fine drinking my milk out of this measuring cup.

I claimed Daniel months ago. I'm going to marry him, bigamy and homosexuality be damned.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:15:00 -0500

So step off, Merlin.

Age is nearly irrelevant

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:44:18 -0500

funsizebytes:

brienis:

21?! Didn’t you say you were getting married next year?! Where’d you meet?! Tell us all about it.

YES. I am 21 years old. And YES. We are getting married. In 6 months. GASP I AM SO YOUNG.

The Wife and I were both 22 when we got married. We’d known each other 4 years, during which we dated 2.5 years and been engaged for 13 months.

That was 14.5 years ago.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Her too.

[…]

I got married two months after I turned nineteen. Ryan was twenty. We knew each other for eight months before we tied the knot. Why did we get married so quickly? That’s a very, very long story involving a multitude of factors — none of which were pregnancy, like everyone at my wedding assumed.

We’ve been married for five and a half years — eight times longer than we dated. We’ve earned two degrees, transferred universities once, lived in four apartments, owned two cats and one dog. We’ve had to eat ramen noodles and work double shifts, and now we’re lucky enough that Ryan’s gainful employment covers all our expenses. I’ve changed majors, hair colors, dress sizes, and plans for the future. But I’ve never once doubted my choice to marry Ryan — I’ve never doubted Ryan. We both went into marriage with eyes wide open.

It doesn’t matter if you’re eighteen or eighty. If you’re not willing to accept that marriage is not only a romantic and fulfilling experience but also a helluva a lot of work as well, you shouldn’t get married. Age isn’t exactly irrelevant, but age and emotional maturity are definitely not a one-to-one correspondence.

I have often wished that the ass part of my clothing and the...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:37:26 -0500

I have often wished that the ass part of my clothing and the head part of my clothing were more connected. I will be heartbroken if this is not real. Heartbroken.

[via Jezebel]

My lawn: whether or not to stand on it

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:32:49 -0500

poeks:

You probably think I’m being a big, elitist douchebag for saying that, Beef_Tongue. Let me add some context. Reading Dan’s post about the Favrd Situation was the first I had even heard about any sort of Favrd/Favstar gaming. At first I thought, huh, can that even be true? So I did some independent research of my own on Favstar and Twitterbelle and lo and behold, it was true. People were giving out upwards of 200 stars in eleven hours, nearly one hundred thousand stars total. Sure there are some really funny toots within the Funny Crowd, but seriously? That many? One hundred thousand?

It threw what Dean said on Zeldman’s blog into sharp relief, and I finally felt that I kind of understood his reasoning behind shutting down Favrd. But moreso I felt naive and duped. Because I had assumed that the Favrd crowd had simply expanded to the point where my sense of humor overlapped little with that of the whole, which is totally cool and frankly inevitable. To be honest, finding out that you were winning the golf game by tossing buckets of balls on the green, hoping that one would fall into the hole, kind of hurt my feelings. And really, be honest, it is not in the spirit of crafting funny tweets for the sake of cracking wise with other funny folk.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I didn’t emerge from Sween’s head fully formed. It took six months of, y’know being funny? Participating in the community? For anyone to even pay me the slightest attention. This “Country Club” you speak of does require an introduction, but that introduction is hard work, not some secret handshake that gives you instant access. I know, you want an Oompa Loompa now, daddy, and you got it. So. Congrats. But the cost was that you took a huge dump on something I cared about, so before you call me an elitist for inviting you and everyone else to a Tweetup you don’t want to attend, give that a good think.

Poeks is insightful and awesome, as usual.

Also, I may have made an unattractive guffaw when I read, “I know, you want an Oompa Loompa now, daddy, and you got it.”

Gratuitous Paragraph About You Wednesday

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:28:59 -0500

Last night, it snowed for the first time this year and I felt magical. That feeling kind of wore off when everything went wrong with my sleep schedule last night, including the bedroom being a fucking oven despite the heat being off and a window being open, and one of the little shitballs I call my cats got into the bedroom somehow and spent all night pouncing on my face then running away before I could catch him. I woke up to find I missed a doctor’s appointment I thought was next week. But, the week is nearly half over, Top Chef’s finale is tonight, and it’s supposed to snow again tomorrow. I might be grasping at straws to be positive, but at least I’m still grasping, right? Right?

Is it Friday yet?

A Festivus for the rest of us!

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:22:40 -0500

Redcloud reminded me that I have to start getting ready for Festivus. I was going to begin airing my greivances, but you guys stole all my thunder, so I’ll wait on that until I’m eating my Festivus dinner of chicken fries* and greasy onion rings from Burger King. I guess all that’s left is to move the ~~stripper pole~~ um, regular pole out into the living room and prepare for the feats of strength.

*I actually had to eat those things once, something that I want to forget but am not letting myself because I figure the doctor will want to know when I’m inevitably diagnosed with cancer of the tongue, throat, or stomach. Could there be a more unappealing name and shape for chicken to be presented in?

merlin: Guys. Relax. You’re not made of papier-mâché. People fight about things that matter to...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:00:00 -0500

merlin:

Guys. Relax. You’re not made of papier-mâché. People fight about things that matter to them.

If the internet were all Benny Hill, Evanescence, and self-harm diaries, we’d still be on fucking LiveJournal.

And, I, for one, will NOT blog for the Russians. No, sir.

I wish someone had reassured me before I nervously tried to stop the fighting by pulling out the parachute pants and clown wig. And doing that MC Hammer dance. While crying.

Why is everyone fighting? If I am funny, will it stop and everyone be happy again? I'm going to go get my clown wig and parachute pants.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:51:00 -0500

glueslabs:

shoesonwrong:

Are mommy and daddy getting a divorce?

It’s all your fault.

I suspected as much.