shoesonwrong

“I just rode a pink Vespa around the lot. It’s for one...”
— Diablo Cody I love her so...

Oct 1st

Wow, and the creepers are starting in already. Wait....

Oct 1st

eoporto: everythinginthesky: It’s a long shot but it can’t...

Oct 1st

Baby pygmy hippo. BABY. PYGMY. HIPPO. I looked all over but...

Oct 1st

Jedi Bathrobe This would go well with sitting around all...

Oct 1st

Don't even try to tell me that Tumblr is...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Annie Andrea (Rarely) Bugsy (Why? I’m an enigma, that’s...

Oct 1st

"holding my hand as the fire was never...

Most emo boner-pill-spam subject line in my spam folder.

Oct 1st

I have to keep posting to get hearts?...

Oct 1st

Hello, October. Behind me is another eight acres of heavily...

Oct 1st

Lifted from @bsheepies: Seven Things...

1) As a child, I called chocolate milk “Bunny Milk” because my chocolate milk was made...

Oct 1st

Seven Things: A Re-post

milkglassmao: [snip] Without further ado, here is my list of seven things. 1. I’m easily...

Oct 1st

Whine whine rant rant Weight Watchers

“Women with PCOS have different metabolisms, and it’s just not fair. I know you’re...

Sep 30th

I sort of got his permission to post...

Him: Oh, being a teenager was horrible. Pimples, awkwardness, random erections. Me: Really? Like...

Sep 30th

zolora: lifeserial: Patrick Moberg’s NEW (MEDIA) WORKOUT...

Sep 28th

Guys, remember how fun it was back when...

I miss that. I mean, by time I was thirteen that was all shot to hell by the internet, but still. ...

Sep 28th

I am taken to a place where your crystal...

“Drink of cherry cola?” “Chicka-cherry cola?” More importantly, which did...

Sep 28th

I read a lot, too. But reading gives you...

A school in Huntsville, Alabama offers treatment for teens and children who have video game...

Sep 27th

Ryan and Annie: a scene from the early college years.

Sep 25th

OH HAI MY TEENAGE YEARS!

Sep 25th

Momo is offended that just because humans pay the bills and...

Sep 25th

nicky36: shoesonwrong: jaydensmommie: hotbothot: RELAX!!! People are going to interpret...

Sep 25th

jaydensmommie: hotbothot: jaydensmommie: My point was not how to get refilled. The point is...

Sep 25th

I Heart Malackey

malackey: I kept hearing I’d change my mind.  That once I heard that biological clock, or met the...

Sep 24th

How many kids does she think are going...

Well, you act like this now, but someone has to keep the human species going. — My...

Sep 24th

I'll change my mind? I'm beginning to...

I have all this baby pressure shit coming in at me from all sides. Friends, family… well,...

Sep 24th

“Can you come get me? I’m lost. I’m in your...”
— My mom, just now. And yes, I...

Sep 23rd

My mother called me four hours ago from...

1) You might think this is strange, but it’s not because my mother can manipulate the...

Sep 23rd

Guy I Knew From College #1: THE PRESIDENT IS LIEING AGAIN. AND NOW HE BLAMES BUSH, OBAMA MUST DIE. ...

Sep 23rd

"I had a nightmare your uncle Bill died...

My first text of the day to Ryan at work. Nyquil and Klonopin allowed me to sleep like the dead for...

Sep 23rd

Dear Weather,

You can fucking bite me. It’s supposed to be in FALL now, here in Michigan. You know, that...

Sep 23rd

Sixty-nine stars. It’s either a sign or a suggestion...

Sep 23rd

Oh sure, you used to think it was cute...

Sep 23rd

The poster for The Rock’s upcoming film, The Tooth...

Sep 22nd

31 retweets and counting. Twentysomething of them were...

Sep 22nd

Has anyone actually heard from...

Oh, no, she posted once today on Tumblr. She’s okay.

Sep 22nd

atsween: Does my eight-day quarantine stubble make me look...

Sep 22nd

“Sure, a few shows have geek characters like Comic Book Guy...”
— MSNBC 1) NO other television...

Sep 22nd

Babymakin’ explained using the game Portal. [via...

Sep 22nd

I need to look at this picture today because I am trying to...

Sep 22nd

milkglassmao, you get me as proved by the fact no one else...

Sep 22nd

Guyyyys, my eyes itch and are watery....

Hey, where are you guys going? Where are we going? I could go for some Chinese food for lunch.

Sep 22nd

@essdogg sent me this over two weeks ago, and I was going to...

Sep 22nd

Listen

Laughing With — Regina Spektor I had this big long-winded thing about the evolution of my...

Sep 22nd

Twisted Ariel, from the Twisted Princesses series. ...

Sep 22nd

Graduate school by the numbers

reagank: I’ve been pretty quiet on here and on twitter, because I’m within 3 weeks of defending my...

Sep 21st

My throat hurts, my ears hurt, my body...

Somebody call the wahmbulance, quick. I may soon die of self-pity. I’m going to bleed out all...

Sep 21st

On college students:

milkglassmao: rachelarogers: I just had a student turn in a test and tell me that she expects a...

Sep 21st

I saw Jennifer's Body this weekend....

BRING IT ON.

Sep 21st

Two girls I babysat when I was a...

I AM NOT DONE BEING THE YOUNG, HIP ONE YET, USURPERS.

Sep 20th

"You can't hang on to the bad. You just...

What I said to Ryan as I made him watch Mean Girls for the first time and he started screaming when...

Sep 19th

SUCK IT

The summer before my senior year of college, someone I considered a close friend did something...

Sep 19th

malackey: Now, all I need is the groom… Understated,...

Sep 18th

“There were a bunch of saveeches [sic] made, an interesting...”
— Gawker’s Top Chef recap ...

Sep 18th

The LA Times is reporting that New Moon...

Horny teens and horny soccer moms really do make up a large chunk of viewership. Hollywood take...

Sep 18th

Today's Texts

Me: Let’s go get Chinese food for dinner. Him: No, we have leftovers to eat. Me: Boo, you...

Sep 17th

This is it, this is how I’m going to go.

Sep 17th

That. Exactly that.

weselec: I would apologize, but I don’t want to.

Sep 17th

I was spanked multiple times daily from...

And I am perfectly fine. Except for all the mental and physical illnesses, which are a direct result...

Sep 17th

Don’t let the smile fool you; this was my first...

Sep 17th

Dear people without uteri*

clapifyoulikeme: Sometimes massive doses of painkillers and heating pads and orgasms galore (the...

Sep 17th

Gather 'round children, it's high time...

So we’ll march day and night by the big cooling tower They have the plant but we have the...

Sep 16th

I KNEW all those years of British cigars, cigarettes, and...

Sep 16th

aedison: I don’t usually write anything but comedy here....

Sep 16th

Wow, you just really don’t like me, do you? Oh, not...

Sep 16th

I love my mom.

Mom: I don’t think the internet should have been invented. It’s just used for sinful...

Sep 15th

In my last post, I wasn't suggesting my...

Sep 15th

atsween: Me and my lovely wife on the Blue Ridge Parkway. ...

Sep 15th

The whole reason I sat through Kevin Williamson’s new...

Sep 15th

I wish I used the phrase, "Nervous...

More specifically, I wish I had less reason to use the phrase, “Nervous farting.”

Sep 15th

(Catching up on stuff I missed when I mentally checked out...

Sep 15th

“Favorite Pizza Toppings? Another, smaller pizza.”
— gordomshumway, via her...

Sep 15th

A chicken crapping stuffing. A chicken. Crapping stuffing. ...

Sep 15th

I eat corn the exact same way. Make Ryan hold it for me and...

Sep 15th

Reason number infinity why I love The...

Leonard: Let’s do this, let’s be right now people! Let’s go to Vegas! […] ...

Sep 14th

milkglassmao: My poor little baby has naked arms. He also...

Sep 14th

malackey: Ok, here’s the thing.  Years ago, I was ragingly bipolar.  I still am, except I’m...

Sep 14th

It starts out codependent, but then it...

I really, really hate weekdays. They’re the days when Ryan’s gone for eight hours. See,...

Sep 14th

"Booker T. Washington" is listed as a...

Well, that’s gonna set the early civil rights movement back a bit.

Sep 12th

Snakes On a Cane.

Sep 11th

“I’m sorry but I’m about to lose you because...”
— Dr. Gregory House, M.D.

Sep 11th

NOT FUCKING COOL

angelablack: Dear Tumblr friends: I think I’ve established that I am a pretty rational,...

Sep 11th

Hah! Someone just reblogged me to add...

I fucking love the internet. Every damn one of you. Well, most of you. Some of you. I’m sort...

Sep 11th

That might have been a jerkface thing to do, but this woman...

Sep 11th

Hey guys, my post about my gas cap being...

You can get mugged, stabbed, or shot in any big city or small town in America. Sure, Detroit has a...

Sep 11th

Oh, hey THE ENTIRE INTERNET

jaydensmommie: This chat must have been with another Mary because I am definitely NOT the kind of...

Sep 11th

Yesterday, a guy stole my gas tank...

He just grabbed it and hauled ass. It was weird. One, ever since I’ve hit puberty, I run like...

Sep 11th

I love… me? I assume this comes from hearting reblogs...

Sep 11th

Gossip Girl comes back next week, and...

Kidding. But I do watch the show, so that does take up, like, forty-five minutes or so. Just so you...

Sep 11th

It’s 133 identical tweets all complaining about Robert...

Sep 11th

My video game habits, on the other...

sendchocolate: Riker from TNG and Jessie from Saved By the Bell.  Annie, I think you need to watch...

Sep 11th

Just because you're sleeping together...

funsizebytes: [B]ut if you have the space and are with someone who is the lightest sleepinest,...

Sep 10th

Watch

It just never gets old watching Jessie Spano freak out over her caffeine pill addiction. I NEED...

Sep 10th

I finally realized Riker from The Next...

I wonder if Riker would try to live on my couch for weeks at a time and drink all my vodka?...

Sep 10th

I never was destined for a maritime career, as one might...

Sep 10th

The plumber (who was supposed to be here...

Thank Jeebus he’s just replacing the faucet and knobs, otherwise I’d be looking at...

Sep 10th

Listen

Material Girl — Madonna Cereal Girl on Sesame Street was my gateway drug.

Sep 10th

Watch

Sesame Street presents Cereal Girl I AM THIS CLOSE TO SHITTING MY PANTS IN GLEE. I loved this as a...

Sep 10th

A flash “game” (app? horrifying abomination?)...

Sep 10th

I left in the relevant part of...

thunderdolt: [snip] Thank you, hunnybunny! [snip] You guyyyyys. Stop being so cute. CUTE, I...

Sep 10th

Sylvia Plath Ouija Board. “I’m going through a...

Sep 10th

“What’s up, cabbage tits?”
— Me, to a friend who is weaning...

Sep 9th

essdogg: GPOYW. Inspired by the mahvelous ms....

Sep 9th

indefensible: Dear Smug Cunt with a Chalkboard, If you ever see me in the street, you better run...

Sep 9th

biorhythmist: 400,000 songs in your pocket! (via...

Sep 9th

Annie, maybe you shouldn't faux-bitch...

Sincerely, The part of your brain that does things like drives a car and keeps you from subsisting...

Sep 9th

Wait, how much porn and of what variety does the porn have...

Sep 9th

Look, I like you insooutso, but either...

<3

Sep 9th

You think it would be better because...

Sep 8th

vmarinelli: Just the teenager finishing her honors summer project for her Humanities program. Yes,...

Sep 8th

Watch

I’m posting this because Malackey said I would and — LOOK A KITTY.

Sep 8th

malackey: theduty: ninjacentric: YO DAWG. i have a...

Sep 8th

The culmination of a long, convoluted...

Me: So one of us is going to have to stand guard duty every night to watch out for owls....

Sep 8th

The Pizza place delivered the wrong...

milkglassmao: It’s forty minutes later, and we still have no sign of the correct order, and I’m...

Sep 7th

Monday, Monday

Me: While you’re out, please get some Chex and milk? Him: *distractedly* Sure. Me: Are you...

Sep 7th

I killed that woman. I robbed that...

Starting Friday night, Hart Plaza, Campus Martius, and Cadillac Square (not important enough to be...

Sep 7th

gesteves: An elephant sits on a bench in deep contemplation...

Sep 7th

pink is (not really that) fantastic

toldorknown: nikography: toldorknown: …snip… don’t deny your daughter the awesome that is pink...

Sep 7th

The Brain Trust

Whoreleen: Is there something that’s the opposite of a placebo? Something you give someone and...

Sep 7th

malackey: Yeah, that’s right.  It sparkles, just like...

Sep 7th

Well, that's fair.

Me: Love? Him: Yes? Me: *long pause* Do you want to date my avatar? She’s a star.You can...

Sep 6th

Crap I’ve amassed in my starred items about Noby Noby...

Sep 6th

Baby Link costume, so you can start indoctrinating the...

Sep 6th

Watch

Hang with me in my MMO So many places we can go I’m better than a real world quest You’ll touch...

Sep 6th

essdogg: Some friends just got back from China and brought the boy some silk pajamas. They didn’t...

Sep 6th

After seeing that picture of shirtless...

Sep 6th

milkglassmao: shoesonwrong: OH FUCK I TRIED KILLING IT WITH FIRE BUT THAT MADE IT MADDER. I...

Sep 6th

Wow, you will do anything to get away from me, won’t...

Sep 6th

milkglassmao: (via: gordonshumway) I took the liberty of...

Sep 6th

Today, I was warned by a middle aged man...

I thought we were friends, you non-Americans. I had to find out otherwise from this unhinged man in...

Sep 6th

“Just a sheared beaver would satisfy little...

Sep 4th

Most of my posts today have been all...

Sep 4th

In our rooms filled with laughter we make hope from every...

Sep 4th

Lithium gives me a hand tremor, which is...

Lip balm is the wiser choice.

Sep 4th

The face I made several times while trying to get both my...

Sep 4th

For Victoria, who said she maybe preferred the old haircut...

Sep 4th

1) Hi, insooutso! 2) We are below, literally, nothing....

Sep 4th

atsween: Ummmm… Oh fuck I had the same thing happen on my...

Sep 4th

Today I said, "Kick it up a notch!" Then...

It was a roller coaster of emotions.

Sep 4th

OH HAI. Am I interrupting something? [via mayjah]

Sep 4th

IT’S TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ON THE INTERNET: MARY...

Sep 4th

“I don’t care if you call it Anime or Maingay or whatever,...”
— Crazy Things Parents Say [via...

Sep 4th

milkglassmao: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck Well, that whole...

Sep 4th

My secret-code wink. It’s subtle, you have to really...

Sep 4th

My hair, before and after this afternoon. Also known as...

Sep 4th

@effingboring, she always understands my...

Me: I broke three hair bungees yesterday. I’m beginning to think my hair is getting fat, even....

Sep 3rd

GCPOYT

Sep 3rd

Tuna-ralphing aside, today has been...

And I wish I could say this was a youthful mistake and I spent it all on booze and plane tickets to...

Sep 2nd

smartasshat: A whole book about an octagon? Sounds...

Sep 2nd

I wish I had known I was going to barf...

I spare no details so that you can have the full Annie Life Experience.

Sep 2nd

I DO feel torpid

Me: Wait, what does torpid mean? I can’t remember all the sudden. Him: I can’t remember...

Sep 2nd

How do I star things multiple times? Like a million times?

Sep 1st

The (not shown) dresser and corner shelf are pink and...

Sep 1st

The Great IKEA Buildinating of 2009 is done. For now. See...

Sep 1st

Infectious or environmental. All we have to do is check out...

Sep 1st

From my window, I can see into a CEO's...

Sep 1st

When I was two, I threw up blue...

Sep 1st